The ‘Bare Minimum’ Debate

Okay, let’s talk about it—the bare minimum. At this point, it feels like half of Gen Z is out here swooning over partners who text back in a reasonable amount of time or remember their birthday. Like, babe, that is basic human decency, not a green flag. But with dating feeling like a never-ending cycle of disappointments, are we actually lowering our standards, or are we just exhausted? Let’s unpack.

Why Are We Clapping for Bare Minimum Energy?
I blame the streets (and maybe social media). It’s like the dating pool is so murky that when someone does something remotely thoughtful—like planning a date instead of just saying “idk what u wanna do?”—we act like we’ve found the last good one. It’s giving low expectations, and I don’t love that for us.

Plus, with so many of us stuck in situationships, ghosting cycles, and commitment-phobia central, even basic acts of effort feel rare. So when someone actually communicates, respects our time, and treats us like a priority, it feels… shocking? Which is insane.

Are We Settling or Just Tired?
Here’s the thing: dating burnout is real. After dealing with so much emotional whiplash, it’s tempting to romanticize the first person who shows even a little effort. And honestly? I get it. When the bar is in hell, even a small step up looks like a leap. But are we lowering our standards or just readjusting them to reality?

A lot of us have been fed this Disney-level fairytale idea of love, where someone will just magically know what we need and be perfect 24/7. So maybe the issue isn’t that we’re settling—it’s that we’re unlearning unrealistic expectations while still trying to keep our self-worth intact.

Raising the Bar (But Not Too High)
So what’s the solution? Balance. Yes, we should expect more than the bare minimum, but we also don’t need to be out here looking for a rom-com lead who writes sonnets and plans surprise vacations every weekend. The key is finding someone who puts in consistent, genuine effort—not just occasionally does the right thing and expects a gold star for it.

At the end of the day, we deserve love that feels intentional, secure, and exciting. So let’s stop glorifying the basics and start celebrating the real ones who actually show up.

Are we asking for too much, or are people just doing too little? Let’s discuss.