Strict Parents Be Like… But We Still Made It Work

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fall in love, have that ultimate freedom, and just do whatever I want with my person. Cute dates? Random late-night drives? Just existing together without a million rules?

Yeah, sike. That was not my reality—because strict parents.

Don’t get me wrong, I know they mean well. They raised me to believe love is a beautiful thing, but when it came to actually living that love? Yeah, they were not ready to share me with someone else. Meanwhile, my boyfriend? Free as a bird. His parents gave him advice here and there, but for the most part, he was just living life—no check-ins, no curfews, no interrogation sessions.

So, if you’re in a relationship where one of you has strict parents and the other has the chillest fam ever, trust me—I get it. It’s a whole dynamic. And in an era where people are literally flying across the world to meet someone they swiped right on, I feel like Gen Z needs this conversation.

Let’s talk about the differences, the struggles, and how to actually make it work—because love isn’t impossible, even when your parents act like it is. (And no, I’m not about to become the strict parent myself… or am I? JK, jk… or am I?)

Strict Parents vs. Chill Parents

Strict Parents = Dating on Hard Mode
If you’ve ever had to sneak around just to spend time with your partner, welcome to the club. When I started dating my boyfriend, I quickly realized how different our experiences were. For me, every date had to be strategically planned—which meant coming up with a believable excuse, making sure I wasn’t out too long, and answering texts within seconds. Meanwhile, my boyfriend could just be like, “Hey, I’m going out,” and that was it. No follow-up questions, no guilt-tripping, nothing.

And honestly? At first, I kind of resented that. It felt so unfair that I had to go through hoops just to do normal couple things. And he, bless his soul, just didn’t get it. He’d say things like, “Why don’t you just tell them the truth?” as if that wouldn’t start World War III in my household.

Chill Parents = Ultimate Freedom (But Sometimes, Too Much?)
On the flip side, I noticed that having too much freedom could also be tricky. My boyfriend grew up super independent, which meant he was used to making his own choices without anyone questioning him. That also meant he sometimes struggled to understand why I had to be so careful. There were times when he’d get frustrated, thinking I was choosing to follow my parents’ rules when, in reality, I was just trying to keep the peace.

And let’s be real—if you’ve ever been in this situation, you know how easy it is for misunderstandings to happen. It’s not that we didn’t love each other; it’s just that our experiences were so different.

How to Make It Work (From Someone Who’s Been There)

Be brutally honest about your situation 🗝️
One of the first things I had to do was sit my boyfriend down and explain exactly what having strict parents meant. I had to make it clear that this wasn’t about me being difficult—I literally didn’t have a choice. If you’re in the same boat, don’t assume your partner understands. Lay it all out for them, so they don’t take it personally.Find creative ways to spend time together 💡
When going on regular dates isn’t an option, you have to get creative. Late-night FaceTime calls, watching the same show together from different places, sending voice notes throughout the day—these little things matter. I learned that relationships aren’t just about physically being together; they’re about the effort you put in.

Slowly introduce your partner to your parents 🧘‍♀️
This one took time, but it was so worth it. Instead of just dropping the “Hey, I have a boyfriend” bomb, I started by casually mentioning him in conversations. Eventually, I introduced him as a friend, and little by little, my parents warmed up to the idea. Strict parents take time to adjust, but once they see your partner is responsible and respectful, they might ease up. (Keyword: might).

Set boundaries with your partner ⏳
If your partner has chill parents, they might struggle to understand why you can’t always be available. And that’s okay—as long as you set boundaries. I had to remind my boyfriend that if I wasn’t responding immediately, it wasn’t because I was ignoring him; it was because my parents expected my full attention when I was home. It’s all about mutual respect.

Have patience (with yourself and each other) 💖
There were times when I wished my boyfriend could experience just a day in my shoes, just so he’d understand. But relationships are about learning from each other, not resenting each other. And if you’re the one with chill parents? Be patient with your partner. They’re not choosing to make things complicated—it’s just their reality.

Don’t let your parents define your relationship 🚀
At the end of the day, love isn’t about how many dates you can go on—it’s about how much you’re willing to show up for each other. If someone really wants to be with you, they’ll find a way. And if they don’t? Well, now you know where they stand.

Lean on your support system 👫
Whether it’s your best friend hyping you up or an older sibling giving you advice, having people who get it makes all the difference. I had friends with strict parents who reassured me that I wasn’t alone, and that helped so much.

Remember, this isn’t forever ⏳
Strict parents will always be strict, but as you grow older, they do start to loosen their grip a bit. The key is proving that you’re responsible. I realized that once my parents saw I was making good decisions, they started to trust me more.

If your partner isn’t willing to be patient, rethink the relationship 💡
This one is tough, but necessary. If your partner constantly pressures you or refuses to respect your situation, that’s a red flag. Love should feel safe, not stressful.

Embrace the struggle (yes, really) 🌸
Looking back, as much as I hated dealing with strict parents, I can appreciate how much it strengthened my relationship. It forced us to build something real beyond just physical time together. And honestly? That made all the difference.

Dating with strict parents isn’t easy, but it’s possible. You just have to be a little smarter, a little more patient, and a lot more creative. And hey, maybe one day, we’ll be the cool parents who finally break the cycle. Or… maybe we’ll be the strict ones after all.