Delulu&Devoted
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Okay, let’s get real for a sec—if there’s one thing our generation is kinda, sorta being labeled for, it’s cheating. And when I say “our generation,” I mean us Gen Zers. Honestly, it feels like every other day there’s a new relationship trend popping up, and not all of them are as cute as they sound.
Some are actually wild and make you wanna throw your phone in the ocean and never look back. But one trend that has been buzzing around is tolyamory, and y’all, we need to talk about it.
You’ve probably heard about polyamory, where multiple people are involved and everyone’s on the same page, right? That’s cool and all—clear, open communication, all that jazz. But then there’s tolyamory, which sounds like polyamory’s sketchy cousin who you only see at family reunions.
So here’s the tea: tolyamory is a combination of “tolerate” and “polyamory,” but it’s not about the good vibes of multiple consensual partners—it’s about straight-up tolerating cheating. Yup, you heard me right.
Imagine this: professional athletes (looking at you, basketball players) who keep stepping out on their partners, or celebs like Cardi B and Offset, where she’s had to forgive him more times than I’ve almost texted my ex at 2 a.m. It’s like, every time, “We’re good! We’re fine! It’s cool!”
But deep down, is it really? Tolyamory isn’t empowering—it’s honestly exhausting. It’s like you’re constantly letting things slide, pretending you’re fine with your partner doing whatever and not even discussing it. It’s just about pretending to ignore the cheating, hoping it doesn’t make a mess. But let’s be real: that’s not love, that’s just tolerance—and it’s not cute at all.
I might be a little late to this trend (better late than never, am I right?), but I had to weigh in because, for me, cheating is a hard no. If you’re out there thinking, “Yeah, maybe we could make this work,” just know that you might want to reconsider.
As a self-proclaimed relationship expert (yep, I’m totally taking that title), let’s break down different types of cheating and why they are called cheating in the first place.
Because, let’s face it—cheating isn’t just about hopping into bed with someone else. It’s about breaking trust, crossing boundaries, and making your partner feel like they’re not enough. It’s emotional, physical, and all kinds of messy.
And in the end, tolyamory is the opposite of healthy relationships—it’s about ignoring the problems instead of dealing with them head-on. Let’s be honest: relationships should never be about tolerating your partner’s bad behavior. It’s about respect, love, and, most importantly, trust.
So, Gen Z, if you’re caught in a relationship where you’re tolerating nonsense and pretending like it’s no big deal, just know that there are healthier, more fulfilling ways to love and be loved.
Keep it real and keep it respectful. And hey, always know your worth—because no one deserves to just tolerate bad behavior. You deserve the love that matches your energy.
What Actually Counts as Cheating These Days?
Okay, let’s break this down because cheating isn’t always as clear-cut as we like to think. We’ve all seen it – someone out with their partner, has a spontaneous hookup, and boom, we all label it as cheating.
But what if it’s just a quick kiss that wasn’t planned? Or flirting? Or worse – your partner’s secretly sliding into someone’s DMs? So, what’s really cheating in today’s world of blurred lines? Here’s the breakdown.
This one’s pretty obvious, but let’s get real, it’s still a biggie. A kiss, a touch, or sleeping with someone else – classic cheating. But here’s where it gets messy: is a quick kiss considered cheating? Or does it depend on how drunk you were?
Now this one, I think, gets overlooked way too often. Falling for someone else emotionally? That’s not just some harmless crush. It’s betrayal.
Whether it’s forming an intimate connection with someone or having deep, secret conversations without your partner knowing – it can sting even more than physical cheating. Trust me, emotional bonds last way longer than a quick fling.
Let’s be real. We all flirt. But at what point does it cross the line? Teasing someone at a bar or in DMs might seem innocent, but what if it turns into something deeper? That flirty vibe with a coworker? You know it’s getting close to the line, and honestly, that’s where it gets dicey. A harmless compliment or a “you look cute” here and there? It’s one thing, but texting with sexual undertones? Nah.
This one’s huge. If you’ve got something you’re hiding from your partner (even a platonic friendship), is it a sign you’re crossing boundaries? A little lie here or there might seem innocent, but the truth comes out. It’s not about whether you cheated physically – it’s about trust. If you’re sneaking around, it’s still considered cheating.
We are all online 24/7, so why wouldn’t cheating exist here too? Whether it’s swiping right on Tinder when you’ve got a partner at home or chatting on OnlyFans, the digital world is just as tempting. Yes, lurking in someone else’s DMs could definitely count as cheating. It’s the new “secret affair.”
At the end of the day, what counts as cheating isn’t just about what technically happens. It’s about breaking your partner’s trust and going behind their back. The act itself might not even be the worst part – it’s the betrayal that comes with it. If your partner wouldn’t approve of it, you’re probably stepping into cheating territory.
Here’s where it gets really interesting – what’s cheating in a monogamous relationship? In an open relationship? Or with someone who’s just not down for commitment at all? The rules are so different depending on the type of relationship you’re in.
For some, having an open convo about your boundaries makes everything fair game. For others, just the thought of your partner with someone else will make you want to swipe left for good.
What’s clear? It all boils down to communication. If you haven’t set boundaries with your partner, how can you expect to know when you’ve crossed the line? Don’t just assume that this is okay or that isn’t. Have those conversations about exclusivity and respect.
At the end of the day, cheating is when trust is broken, and we all know how much trust matters. Keep it clear, keep it real. And don’t forget, your actions speak louder than any “oops, I didn’t mean to” excuse.
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